March 25, 2012

Home

Hope everyone has had a great weekend so far and is looking forward to their Sunday. Sunday is probably my favorite day of the week. I love the time spent with family, church, and just relaxing in general. This may be cut a little short, since I'm about to get ready for church myself. But anyway, here goes.

I'm back "home" this weekend. Except that I don't know if it's really home anymore. To be perfectly honest, I don't know where home is for me. Ever since I first moved to Steve a year and a half ago, I've felt torn. Believe it or not, I love Michigan. Not just because Steve is there. I like a lot of other things about it as well. The lake is gorgeous and I love spending time there. I love where I live and being close to such a big city. I love my job. And I've truly enjoyed the experience of spreading my wings and really living my own life and making my own way.

But there's no denying that in some ways, Alabama will always be home. Is it the greatest place in the world. Probably not, at least by most people's standards. But for me, it's pretty darn close. I have an amazing family. And while my family may be small, they're incredibly loving and supportive. I also have some pretty great friends here. And even though I love the big city, I've always been a small town girl. There is a certain easiness and comfort in being here. I know what to expect. I know the ins and outs of this little town and for the most part, love it.

So it leaves me asking myself, where is home? It can't be just where you live. Some say it's where the heart is. That doesn't answer the question for me though. Even though I love Steve with all my heart and he most certainly has my whole heart, my family still has a huge part of my heart, and always will. If you knew all the back story with my family, and could see their precious faces, I'm sure you could understand why.

I may not know where home is for me, but maybe I shouldn't limit myself to choosing one place. I feel at home here, but I also feel at home in Michigan. Maybe I should consider myself blessed to have two homes, for I think I do. And honestly, I do consider myself blessed. For this, and so many other reasons.

I'm finally at peace with these two homes. And I'm not feeling quite so torn. I feel at home both places and have, for the most part, quit trying to answer the question of which place is really home. Michigan may be my home now, but like I said, this, Alabama, will always be home in some ways. I'm so glad to have finally come to the realization that for once, I really can have it both ways. I love it when that happens.

Hope you all didn't mind me taking you on that little journey. Sometimes it's just so helpful for me to get it all put into writing.I sort through things in my head as I write.

Now, all that being said. I have been so busy, but have had so much fun this visit. I still have a lot to do before I head north again, But I really have accomplished a lot. We've booked the venues for both the rehearsal dinner and bridesmaid luncheon. We've basically got the programs done, they just need some slight tweaking. I'm meeting with both the photographer and the florist tomorrow, and possibly the baker. And I have to make the labels for our favors.

I love all this wedding. Steve made a comment again last night that if I ever decide not to be a nurse, I should be an event planner. And honestly, I would love it. It has been so much fun. And for the most part, not too stressful. A huge reason for both of these things has been my sister. She has been such a huge help. She has great ideas. So if I do ever become an event planner, I'm going to have to partner with her. We help keep each other sane. And she really does have some great ideas.

I'm missing Steve though. I feel like I've hardly seen him lately since things have been so busy for both of us. It's not that I don't like time on my own. I do. But there really can be too much of a good thing. And when that happens, it's not such a good thing anymore. I'm trying not to get too down though. I just want to get through this rough patch, and on to the wedding. I'm generally pretty positive and try to look for the good in all situations. And the best part of this is that in five weeks, I'll be waking up in his arms. And I'll have a different last name. I'm pretty pumped about all that!

But for now.....